My Mental Body

Rain in England never really bothered me; in fact, most of the time I quit enjoyed it.  It always cheered me up when I was at work & it was pissing it down & I could stay in the office laughing at the poor suckers that come running in drenched from it, & you don’t feel like you’re missing out on anything when you’re at work in the rain either, apart from a good afternoon drinking session in the local pub.  I liked the sound of it & I didn’t even mind walking in it.  Out here though it’s a whole different storey.  It’s warmed up this week; it’s a positively balmy +4 in the village & not much colder at the top so all this potential snow is falling on us as dirty stinking French rain.  It turns the snow into slush, blinds you &, obviously, soaks you.  For this reason we haven’t been boarding this week yet, I attempted it yesterday but turned round before I even got to the chair lift.  Boarding in slush is bad but walking in it is worse.  The workers concentrate on keeping the roads safe (I say driving on ice is fun, not a danger!) so the pavements get left, 6inches of snow turns into a quagmire of cold slushy slush which splashes up your legs, goes in your shoes & makes you slide back & forth like a demented curling team.  But it gets worse, slush that turns to ice.  Our little side road is only 30m long & ever so slightly on a hill but it’s a fucking death trip in the mornings, there is no shoe in the world that would grip, ice skates wouldn’t even work because its covered in little ice marbles.  So I sit in our apartment with not much in the way of news to tell you, so I thought I’d tell you about my mental body.

The human body is amazing, the way we do all the things we do without even thinking, it heals itself, renews itself & adapts to most things, but since being here I discovered a few things about mine that is just a bit weird.  Firstly, as you may or may not know I’m a diabetic, I have to have 4 injections a day to keep myself alive (or at least I did in England) & to date there is no known cure.  Up here in the cold altitude it seems I’m cured (almost anyway).  There are so many things that I don’t understand about this disease even though I’ve got it, but this just makes no sense what so ever.  Not that I’m complaining only having to stick a needle in myself once a day has got to be an improvement but it does make forever paranoid that it’s going to catch up with me at any moment & turn me in to a mumbling wreck. 

Secondly, sweaty eyelids.  Who the f#ck gets sweaty eyelids.  I don’t get them when I’m hot, I get them if I have any form of spice.  I love a bit of spice on my food, I can’t truly say the more chilli the better but most food can be improved by big kick of heat.  But for some reason when I have a dose of spice (doesn’t even need to be that hot) I start getting sweaty eyelids.

And finally & possibly the most weird of all.  For as long as I can remember being hot hasn’t really agreed with me, I love a summer holiday on the beach but I’m usually found covered up under tree or keeping cool in the sea doing my best to reduce the uncomfortable boils that spring up all over me.  This is 1 of the reasons that an escape to the mountains was so inviting.  But this I first discovered over New Years Eve last year while in Stockholm.  As you may guess Sweden in the winter gets very cold, whilst we was there it was between -5 & -11 during the day & much colder at night & now here.  Apart from this freak hot spell we’re having it is around -5 in the village & -15 up high, cold I’m sure you’ll agree.  But what happens to me?  I get f#cking heat rash! -15 & f#cking heat rash, what’s all that about.  Now I know some of you might be thinking that it’s not heat rash, it’s some form of dirty lurgey or the Aids is back, but as I say, I’ve been getting this on summer holidays all my life, I know what it is, besides I’ve a got a text from the NHS proving I’m aids free, how many of you can say that (Nige, high 5 brother).  Its heat rash, I can only guess it’s coming in from the cold into hot heated buildings, but still weird & very annoying. 

Anywho, I’m down the pub later to watch the football, Tuesday night is boys night the world over (unless its Wednesday night) so I’m off to the Pacific Bar & their 7 massive TV’s, not even close to £9 for a 4 pint jug though.  In fact that is just dream these days.  COYS

Type this yesterday (Tuesday) I know we managed a 3-3 draw.  Top of the group.